collaboration, compromise, and constructive dialogue. Incivility, which demonstrates a lack of respect and consideration for others, creates a self-centered attitude that can leave others feeling hurt, disrespected, and excluded. It can extend beyond individual interactions to affect relationships, productivity, and broader societal issues community-wide. Therefore, it’s essential to strive for an environment that encourages civility and respectful engagement, helping to restore the American ideal of government. If you want to stand against incivility, you need to recognize and call it out when you see it, in particular: • Obstinance—stubborn adherence to one’s own opinion despite reason or persuasion. • Demagoguery—emotional and prejudicial appeals to sway public opinion, rather than engaging in rational argument. • Dogmatism—the inflexible adherence to a particular set of principles, beliefs, or ideology, without considering alternative viewpoints or evidence. Changing these behaviors is not something that can be achieved overnight. If you’re looking for a quick fix, I’m sorry to disappoint, but there is no magic phrase or verbal jiu-jitsu tactic that can instantly reverse an instance of incivility during a council meeting. The following is the civility that all local leaders need to get good at: Energize obstinance. Find shared goals and values that underlie the debate. By identifying common ground, you can frame the conversation in a way that encourages compromise and collaboration. Bring in outside experts, facilitators, or neutral third parties to provide fresh perspectives and objective feedback. Counter demagoguery. Focus on presenting the facts and evidence that support the proposed course of action. By presenting data and statistics in a clear and compelling way, you can help to move the conversation away from emotional appeals and toward rational and fact-based decision-making. Engaging in active listening and making space for the consideration of alternative solutions is vital. Overcome dogmatism. Frame the debate in terms of outcomes rather than ideology. By focusing on the practical implications of different policy choices, you shift the conversation away from entrenched beliefs and toward pragmatic solutions. Building alliances and coalitions across ideological lines can also be an effective way to seek out common ground and work together toward shared goals. You have a crucial responsibility to govern your community in a fair, equitable, and just manner. This requires standing strong against incivility and disrespect, even when it’s being thrown at you. By modeling respectful behavior and promoting constructive dialogue, you set the standard for your community. CONNECTING, RESPECTING, AND LISTENING As a civic leader, you are the guardian of a thriving community, responsible for making decisions that impact the lives of your residents. Facing incivility and negativity during council meetings and community events can be disheartening, but giving up is not an option when it comes to civic leadership. Remember that your mission is to create a positive and inclusive environment for all. By prioritizing respect and collaboration, you set an example for others to follow, creating a ripple effect that can spread throughout the community. Keep your focus on how people in your community deserve to feel about civic engagement—connected, respected, and heard—and find the motivation to push through challenging situations and work toward constructive solutions. Local leaders hold the power to shape decisions that impact people’s daily lives. Making those decisions with integrity, fairness, and a commitment to the greater good is crucial. By bringing people together, bridging divides, and creating a better future for your community, you have a responsibility worth fighting for. Stay strong, stay committed, and keep striving toward creating a more positive and inclusive community. Matt Lehrman is managing director of Social Prosperity Partners. He delivered the opening keynote “From Conflict to Conversation” at the NC League’s Annual Conference, CityVision 2023. A version of this article originally appeared in the Minnesota Municipal League’s Minnesota Cities magazine. Taking the Lead: How City Officials Can Promote Civility Matt Lehrman speaks at CityVision 2023. Photo credit: Ben Brown NCLM.ORG 31
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